Searching
by lexakane
Summary: this is the sequel to lost. you might want to read that one first. O and I love reviews
1. Chapter 1

**Don't own them so don't sue**

**Chapter one future**

Lexa had found herself a place to stay. She had found a job and had made some friends. Now she was looking at some old pictures. There was one of Brennan and she decided to place it somewhere so she could look at it sometimes. Just then she heard a voice at the door and smiled. She walked to it and opened it. "Conner didn't I tell you to wait till I would come and get you?" she asked the little four year old boy.

Conner looked at his mother. He was a spitting image of his father but had gotten Lexas eyes and Lexa was still suprised whenever she looked at him. The day she had laboured had been a happy day. But it had also been sad. She was alone at the hospital and had no friends to help her.

"Mom you promised to be there ages ago'' Conner complained and little sparks where coming from his fingers. "Sorry hunny I was looking at some old pictures and I found a picture of your father for you" Lexa said helping him out of his Jacket. "Why isn't dad here?" Conner asked her curious.

Lexa looked at him "Your father needs to help other people like us. If he doesn't a lot of people will die or get hurt'' Conner looked happier "So my dad is a hero!'' he said excited "I'm going to play mom'' Lexa sighed and looked at him running away.

Brennan had hurt her but she had never been able to tell her son the truth. She still loved Brennan but she would never see him again. A few weeks after the labour she had contacted sanctuary and found out Adam had returned there. She had explained him the whole story and had told him why she wouldn't come back. For the first time Adam hadn't asked her to think about it. He had helped her.

Now she contacted him every few weeks to tell him about Conner and how he was doing. She had sent him a few pictures. They had made a deal. He would never tell Brennan where she was and she would sent him pictures so he could see Conner grow up. Last year Adam had been on Conner's birthday. She smiled at the thought.

When he had ringed the doorbell Conner had jumped up. She had told him everything about Adam and the boy saw him as a grandfather.. She had opened the door and Conner had jumped into Adam's arms. The day had been perfect with friends and presents. Later when Conner went to bed Adam had stayed for a while and they had talked. He had told her Brennan and Shalimar never gotten together and Brennan was still looking for her. She had told him she still loved Brennan but it was to late for them. After that they talked for a while about Conner's powers. He was elemental like his father and his powers where showing up already.

"mom?" Lexa heard and she snapped out of her thoughts. "What is it hunny?" she asked him in suprise "when you send your next letter to grandpa could you please ask him to visit us again?" he asked her. Lexa nodded "I will Wright him now ok?'' Conner shook his head happy and went to play.

Lexa walked to her desk and took out a paper and a pen. She thought for a while and started to Wright.

_Hello Adam_

_Time for my update again. Conner is starting to get used to going to school. Today he even was home before I could go and pick him up. I was lost in my thoughts and noticed to late that it was time to pick him up. He is a smart boy. Today he asked me where his father was. I couldn't tell him about it. I told him his father needed to save people like us. Someday I will have to tell him the truth._

_I am thinking about the past a lot lately. Asking myself where it went wrong. Did I do something or wasn't it meant to be. Maybe it's better this way. Conner has a normal life now. How are things going around sanctuary. Are Jesse and Shalimar still a couple?_

_Conner asked me to invite you over again. He wants to see his grandpa. I hope you can come_

_Greetz_

_Lexa_

She walked to a drawer and got out a few pictures of her and Conner. She put them with the letter and called Conner. ''I need to bring away this letter are you coming?'' she asked him. She helped him in his Jacket and walked with him to post her letter. She looked around her. Life seemed so peaceful here. But she had a feeling everything would change soon.

This chapter is for you Carly you asked me for a sequel you got it


	2. the truth comes out

**Chapter 2 the truth comes out. **

Adam had just picked up the mail in the city. He had done it since he had returned to sanctuary so nobody thought it was weird. He saw Lexa's handwriting on one of the letters and stopped the car. He smiled, they had fought a lot when she had been with MutantX but in the past 4 years he had learned to know the real Lexa.

He opened the letter and started to read. He laughed when he read about Conner being home before she could notice that it was time to pick him up. But a single tear dropped down his face when he read in her words that she still loved Brennan and missed him. He looked at the pictures but couldn't help the feeling that Brennan should be in it too. But it wasn't his decision to make and he put the letter in his pocket. He started the car and drove home.

At sanctuary he hung up his jacket and gave everyone their mail. He had to search for Brennan but knew by now where to find him. He was in lexa's room again searching for anything that could help him find her. He handed him the mail and walked away. He went to the lab. He would visit Conner and Lexa tomorrow.

The next morning Brennan woke up early. This week he needed to do sanctuary's laundry so he walked quietly into everyone's room picking up the clothes. Then he walked to the machine. He started to check if anyone had left something in their clothes. He was half way when his hand suddenly held a picture. He was interested. This was Adam's pants and he didn't look like a man for a girlfriend.

He looked at the picture and was shocked. In the picture was Lexa. She got older but was more beautiful then ever smiling in the camera. But in her arms was a little boy. His son… He had been looking for them for years and now he just found a picture of them in Adam's pocket. He got angry and walked to Adam's room. He slammed the door open "Where is she" he growled.

Adam woke up. He saw Brennan and the picture. He sighed knowing he knew. "I don't know" he lied. Brennan walked to him sparks coming from his hands. He picked Adam up by his troth and Adam could feel tiny bits of electricity running trough his body. "I don't believe you" Brennan said.

"Listen she contacted me 4 years ago" Adam confessed and Brennan let go. He saw Shalimar and Jesse running in the room but didn't care. " She told me she had just labored a boy named Conner Mulwray. I wanted to help her and we agreed that I wouldn't tell you as long as she kept me posted about Conner."

Brennan was still angry but tried to act calm " Tell me where she is" He insisted. "I won't" Adam said. " But if Jesse wants he can come with me today to visit them. He can talk Lexa into seeing you" Adam knew that if Brennan would come Lexa would take Conner and run away as fast as she could. Brennan sighed but knew the same. Both he and Jesse agreed.


	3. Memories

Chapter three: Memories

Adam got dressed and picked up his phone. He called Lexa telling her he was coming today. He didn't tell her that Jesse was coming with him. While he was calling Brennan almost grabbed his cellphone to finally have a chance to talk with Lexa but sighed and waited. When he hung up Adam looked at him ''I will be leaving in half an hour, and Brennan please stay calm'' he asked. Brennan just growled and walked away.

Shalimar chuckled nervous. ''He would make a good feral'' she tried to joke but nobody laughed. They where all nervous. Nobody wanted to admit that they had missed their teammate. Jesse gave Shalimar a kiss. He knew what had happened to make Lexa leave but Shal and he had become closer after that to a point where they loved eachother.

Both men stepped in the car and they took of silent. It was a long road but neither tried to start a conversation. Jesse was trying to figure out why Adam hadn't told it before and if he would have ever told them if Brennan hadn't found out. Adam was trying to think of a way to talk with Lexa before she would make a run for it.

After a few hours they stopped. ''Jesse please stay in the car till I have talked to her'' he asked but Jesse shook his head knowing the surprise would be better. He stepped out of the car and walked with Adam to the front door. A little boy opened it calling Adam grandpa. The boy looked at him and called for his mother not inviting them in.

Lexa looked up from her work when she heard Connor call her about a strange man who was with grandpa. She stood up and walked to the door. She picked up Connor before she looked who where there. ''Jesse?'' she asked surprised ''Adam how could you do that you made a promise'' she said and closed the door running to her room starting to pack for her and Conner.

Jesse shrugged and phased them trough the door he walked to the livingroom leaving it to Adam to talk with Lexa. Adam straightly walked to the bedrooms and opened the door. ''Lexa I couldn't help it he had found a picture you send me and forced me to talk. I could only make him stay at sanctuary cause I took Jesse'' he tried to explain. ''I should have never trusted you'' Lexa shouted ''Now I need to run again'' she finished packing and walked downstairs bumping into Jesse. He was holding Connor.

''Give me my child back'' she said panicking. Jesse handed her Connor ''Please listen to me while I tell you about everything'' he asked ''If you want to leave after that we let you go'' Lexa nodded and walked in the livingroom. She offered them something to drink and sat down. Jesse started talking ignoring Adam.

''We both know what happened the day you left sanctuary. Brennan and Shalimar have done something they shouldn't have. Both where to blame not only Brennan or only Shal. I talked about it a lot with her. She confessed me that she had always wanted to have sex with him. Nothing more not love. She waited for a moment of weakness and took her chance. Brennan knew this and let her.

But directly after the sex Brennan pushed her away knowing what he had done to you knowing he could never tell you. But you already saw it and left. The moment he found out he started searching for you. He started to trace your phonecalls the car where you left in and more. He never stopped looking everyday he is in your room checking if he has missed something that can make him find you. The day you left we lost the Brennan we used to know. The man who liked to play around. When he found your picture he was so angry he almost electrocuted Adam forcing him to tell where you where. He still loves you Lexa.'' Jesse looked at her finishing his story.

Lexa looked at him only believing a part of what he said. She decided to tell him her side of the story. The story that kept her from going back to Brennan. ''That day I was just walking in sanctuary'' she started her story. Tears where already filling her eyes.

''I had just done a pregnancy test and was waiting for the results. I didn't want to wait in my room and decided to arrange dinner for both of us just the two of us to celebrate if I was pregnant. I heard sound coming from one of the rooms and decided to take a look. What I saw there… I can't explain it. I went back to my room and had to trow up. Then I took the test out of my bag where I had hid it incase someone had come in. It was positive.

I decided to give him a chance to tell me but when he came in I could smell Shalimar all over him but he didn't. Then I left. The next months where the most difficult. I was pregnant and alone. There where a lot of moment that I just wanted to come back to sanctuary. After a stressful pregnancy I labored in a hospital. I couldn't resist anymore and called sanctuary hoping you would answer Jesse. But Adam did. He had returned to sanctuary. He promised to come to the hospital and did. We talked long and I decided that I didn't want to come back and Adam… He helped me out. Gave me a job and a life. In return I would tell him about Conner. I can't come back and I can't face him I need to go. ''

She walked to her desk and sat down writing something. Out of a drawer she picked up all the photo's she had of Conner from baby till now. She did everything in an envelope. ''Please give this to Brennan'' she asked before she picked up her bags and walked out with Conner.

Jesse took the envelope and walked out with Adam. The road back was silent again but this time for other reasons. Back at Sanctuary Brennan was the first to meet him with a face full of hope. When he didn't saw Lexa he felt his heart break and he took the envelope walking to his room. There he opened it reading the letter.

Dear Brennan

_Jesse explained everything to me. Don't blame him he tried to make me come back with them. But I can't. I can't come back seeing Shalimar or you. You two have hurted me too much. I can't come back looking at you acting like nothing happened. Like my heart wasn't ripped into two. The few weeks I had with you have been the happiest in my life. I felt complete. That day I was excited. I felt I was pregnant and wanted to tell you during dinner. We never made it that far. With this letter I send you pictures of your son. I will keep sending you those so you can see your son grow up. Don't try to find Conner and me Brennan you won't find us. Not even Adam will find us again. Know that I will always love you._

_Lexa_

Brennan read the letter crying cause he knew how much pain he had given her. He took out the pictures and saw his son from baby till the age he had to be now. He hated to have missed that much. He looked up to see Jesse in his doorway. ''Don't give up. She had a picture of you standing there I think she still loves you. If only you two could talk'' the younger man said. Brennan stood up with a picture of Lexa and his son. He placed it on his desk. ''I will never give up on them''


	4. Goodbyes

**Chapter 4: Goodbyes**

The next three months Lexa traveled from town to town. She was to restless to stay in the same place for long afraid that when she had send her letter to Brennan he would come and find her. She was not sure what she would do then. She still loved him but trust ment a lot for her.

She knew she couldn't life on like this forever. She was close to a nervous breakdown because of all this. Connor needed to go back to school too. She also needed to work again. She had no money left for food. But the last thing she would do was return. Not only Brennan had betrayed her but Adam too.

Life had been easier when Adam had helped her. She had a job and a life and when she needed money he would give it to her. Now she lived out of her suitecases not staying somewhere long enough to unpack. Connor couldn't take this much longer either. He had already stopped listening to her and did whatever he wanted.

She then made a decision. She would stop living like this. She watched Connor play outside for a while thinking of what to do now. Then she sat down behind her desk to write a letter.

_Dear Brennan_

_With this letter I write you my last goodbye. It is not good for our son to travel around like this. I'm close to gonig insane living out of suitcases with no work and no money. I already hear you thinking come back and we will work it out. I can't do that. In my time with mutantx and with you I learned something important. Trust. You broke that. I can say I still love you. You are the father of my child. But without that little thing trust I cant handle being near you._

_Connor and i are going to a safe place now. I have to ask you again not to try to find us. You can't. This time even Adam doesn't know where I am and I don't know where I'm going yet either. We will build a life again. Connor will go back to school. We just want to live peacefull without stress._

_Maybe in time i will send you some pictures again. For now this are the last ones. Don't worry I will make a lot in the time you don't hear from us so expect a big envelope in a few years. When Connor asks me i will tell him about his father and where to find you. He has the right to know you I can't trust you but I know you would make a wonderfull father. I'm sorry it has to be this way._

_Farewell_

_With Love_

_Lexa_

She packed up her stuff for the last time and brought the letter to the post office. She then drove with Connor to a new town for the last time. When she arrived she already saw a house for rent and soon got a job as waitress. It wasn't much but enough to pay their food and Connors school.

Brennan got her letter a week later. He imediatly looked where it was coming from and let Jesse start the search again. It was the same routine everytime a letter came. But this one was moe important. It was her last one and she had admitted she still loved him.

Of course when they came at the place Lexa was already gone. Then something hit Jesse and he turned to Brennan. ''I don't know why I haven't seen this before'' he started. Brennan looked up from the picture in his hand. Jesse waited a moment before he spoke again. ''I know where she is...''

**Special thanks to jaws494 you made me write quicker I hope you like this chapter because it is for you**


	5. Finding or Losing

**Chapter 5: Finding or Losing**

"What do you mean you know where she is?" Brennan asked Jesse shocked. Jesse didn't answer him and walked back to the helix. Brennan followed trying to get him talking but it didn't work out. By the time they where by the helix Brennan was more then just angry.

In the helix Jesse pulled up a map and marked the places Lexa had been and looked at Brennan. Seeing he was angry he sighed and started "You see first it looked like she just chose random places then I noticed the pattern. She is going in a straight line so that is the city she has to be now" he said and a little city highlighted on the map.

Brennan looked at it for two seconds then ran to the controls and typed in the coordinates for the city and they took off. When they landed Brennan stayed in his seat and turned to Jesse. "Please let me do this alone?" he asked and Jesse nodded "Call when we need to pick you up" he answered. He hoped Brennan was with Lexa then.

Brennan smiled and stood up. He walked out of the helix and into the city. He decided to try the school remembering Connor had to be there by this time of the day. If he saw him Lexa was close. He was lucky all the kids where playing outside. Suddenlly a little boy come running to him and jumped in his arms "Daddy you are back" he heard.

Before he could react a school teacher came and asked him what he was doing here. Connor answered for him "That is my dad" he said proudly to the teacher "He is back from helping a lot of people" Brennan just looked at his son and smiled "I am back son but first I want to talk to your mom ok?" he put him back on the ground "I will see you later ok? Do you know where your mom is?" Connor nodded "She works in that restaurant there''

Brennan smiled and looked. He said bye to Connor and walked to it. When he was sure Connor couldn't see him anymore he stopped and cried for a while and felt the electricity rushing trough his body. He had just seen his son for the first time.

Finally he was able to calm himself enough and he walked into the restaurant. He sat down at a table in the back and looked around trying to find her. "Can I help you Sir?" he suddenly heard. His head snapped up seeing it was Lexa. She hadn't noticed it was him. "Two coffee and your 15 minute break" he answered.

Lexa finally looked up "Brennan?" she asked shocked. Brennan nodded and Lexa walked away confused. She knew running wasn't an option anymore and she was not sure if she wanted to. She asked her boss if she could take her break and he agreed. She thanked him and took the coffee to brennan and sat down "You changed" she started looking at him.

Brennan looked at her "We are both older but you still look as beautiful as when we first met. I saw Connor" Lexa smiled thinking of her son "He looks like you. Everytime I look at him I see you" He smiled proud then got serious "Why couldn't we talk?"

Lexa sighed "I told Jesse. I waited for you then you acted like nothing happened. I couldn't trust you anymore" Brennan fisted his hands knowing she was right. "It was the biggest mistake I could ever make. I never loved Shalimar. I can say it was something we needed to get over with but that isn't right to you. I should have been loyal to you. I even thought about marrying you. But why didn't you yell at me or just leave me. Why did you keep running and took my son from me?"

Lexa waited a while before answering. "Brennan I opened my heart for you. You made that happen. Only Leo managed to do that before you. I loved you. I couldn't look at you without seeing you with Shalimar" brennan looked at her and saw the pain in her eyes. "I still love you lexa. I see in your eyes that you feel the same. Please come back with me to Sanctuary and try"

Lexa stood up "I have to think about it" she handed him a card "this is my adress. Connors school ends in 15 minutes. Spend the day with him and I tell you my decision tonight when I get home. My work ends at 8 pm" she turned around and walked away leaving Brennan behind. A small smile came on his face as he stood up and walked outside.

**Jaws494. i hope you got my message. If not it was to invite you to a challenge.**


	6. Ironic

**I"m sorry for not finishing this before. I have had a lot of problems and am still in a few. Don't be to shocked reading this chapter. The song in this chapter is from nightwish Angels fall first I don't own it but it is a beautiful one. If you find time you should listen it.**

**Chapter 6. Ironic**

Lexa tried to explain her boss for about 5000 times why she couldn't work longer today. Finally she gave up and told him she quit. He looked shocked but she really didn't care. She packed her stuff and left to go home.

At home she looked trough the window and smiled. What she saw was what she had always dreamed of. Brennan was inside playing a game with Conner. It looked like they had a lot of fun. She then saw Brennan look up and he saw her. She smiled at him and went inside.Brennan smiled "Dinner is ready we waited for you" he softly said. She just nodded and sat down at the table. While eating she listened to them chatting and getting to know eachother. She was happy she never said to Conner why she left his father or told him he was dead.

Brennan brought Connor to bed as Lexa cleaned up. Coming back downstairs he turned her to him and went down on one knee. "I know this is not the best time. But I know I never stopped loving you and I almost killed myself for doing what I did. I don't ask you to forget what I did I know it will take a long while for you to trust me again but still I don't want to lose you anymore. Lexa Pierce please marry me" Lexa just looked at him for a while. She really didn't know what to answer. She did still love him but wasn't sure if it was enough. She saw how insecure he started to look and pulled him up. "yes" she finally said. Brennan picked her up and twirled her around happy then kissed her. "I swear I will never do something like that again Lex'' he told her looking in her eyes. "I know" Lexa smiled.

The next day Brennan called the others and told them what had happened. He also invited them for the wedding later that day. Both didn't want to wait knowing they had already lost to much time together. The others where happy for them and promissed to be there .Conner heard his father calling and happily danced around the room. "Is grandpa coming to?'' he asked his mother. Lexa laughed "Of course he is someone needs to give me away"

Just before the wedding would almost start Shalimar came to Lexa. "Lex.. I uhm" Lexa stopped her. "Shal it is ok. I forgave him so I forgive you plus I need a witness'' she grinned. The girls hugged eachother and Shal took her place.Adam came in and took lexa's arm "you ready?'' he asked. Lexa nodded and together they started walking to Brennan. Adam gave her to Brennan and the ceromony started. Finally they where at the vows and lexa looked Brennan in the eyes as she waited till she could say yes. She opened her mouth to say it when a bang sounded and Lexa fell to the floor. Blood was quickly forming a pool around her.

Adam came running and tried to help her then he looked up to Brennan and slowly shook his head. Brennan felt like the world stopped spinning then felt a warm little hand in his and understood he needed to stay strong for Connor. He picked up the boy and slowly walked away not noticing the tears streaming down his face A few days later at the funeral brennan still couldn't understand why she was dead. They caught the man who did it and it seemed he just had been jealous. Brennan couldn't understand it. He came forward spoking a last few words to her. "I will always remember you Lex. For me we where already married. I'm sorry for the short time we had together but I promiss you that I will raise Connor so you can be proud at him" he then walked away as a song started to play

_An angelface smiles to me  
Under a headline of tragedy  
That smile used to give me warmth  
Farewell - no words to say  
Beside the cross on your grave  
And those forever burning candles_

_Needed elsewhere  
To remind us of the shortness of your time  
Tears laid for them  
Tears of love tears of fear  
Bury my dreams dig up my sorrows  
Oh Lord why  
The angels fall first?_

_Not relieved by thoughts of Shangri-La  
Nor enlightened by the lessons of Christ  
I'll never understand the meaning of the right  
Ignorance lead me into the light_

_Needed elsewhere  
To remind us of the shortness of your time  
Tears laid for them  
Tears of love tears of fear  
Bury my dreams dig up my sorrows  
Oh Lord why  
The angels fall first?_

_Sing me a song  
Of your beauty  
Of your kingdom  
Let the melodies of your harps  
Caress those whom we still need_

_Yesterday we shook hands  
My friend  
Today a moonbeam lightens my path  
My guardian_

**This one is finished for you Jaws494 thanks for reminding me that I still needed to finish it. **


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